physical

…the thoughts you’re avoiding are usually giving you feedback. There is something in your life you’re uncomfortable with, something you need to change. Start listening to them. It might be depressing or momentarily discouraging to realize how unsatisfied you are with your life but avoiding these thoughts won’t help anything. We feel pain in order to drive us to adapt. If a problem in your life won’t solve itself, running away from it will only make it worse. Start letting your mind wander. You will be glad you started doing. Ideally, if you want to fall asleep, you go to bed tired, and you turn off all the distractions. Then you contemplate your life for a bit and you fall asleep in a matter of minutes. If something really bothers you and it won’t go away, take a piece of paper and write it down. This is called a brain dump. It helps let go of persistent disturbing thoughts. The next morning, you can look at it with fresh eyes and decide what to do. You probably won’t do much about your life exhausted at 4AM.

Vince scanned the globe. People everywhere were flipping through newspapers, asking tough questions, debating the issues of the day. He laughed to himself. The humans believed that they were rational creatures, governed by their values and belief systems. In fact, almost all of their choices were based on what they had eaten for breakfast, whether or not they had slept well, and how long it had been since their last satisfactory orgasm. In Vince’s opinion, these three factors—breakfast, sleep, orgasm—accounted for most events in human history. Benedict Arnold was a naturally sour person. But he never would have betrayed his country had it not been for the mosquitoes in his bedroom, depriving him of sleep for weeks and stripping his mind of reason. The Magna Carta might have been an ingenious document. But King John never would have signed it had it not been for his teenage mistress and the generous mood she engendered in her aging ruler. An undercooked sausage, a snoring spouse—these were the events that shaped the world. Governors were three times more likely to sign a death warrant if they hadn’t had their coffee yet. And surgeons performed best when they were in love. There were other factors at play in human decision-making—allergies, bowel regularity, and headaches, for instance. But almost all were biological and remarkably easy to manipulate. Any Angel worth his wings could do it. (Location 1552)

More on the Benedict Arnold Mosquito Adventure:

Recognizing tactical defeat, Arnold leads his men west, away from the fort and toward Montreal, his wound still festering. The Brits take up pursuit in fresh uniforms and with full stomachs. Arnold leads his men, including Montgomery’s remaining troops towards American soil, stopping to rest at a mosquito-filled island, Isle aux Noix, on the Richelieu River below Montreal. There, he reviews his options. His army is in unsustainable condition. Hundreds have contracted
small pox. “Large maggots” crawl upon their bodies. Only a minority of those present began this journey with him in Boston. Yet those who did, still deeply admire him. Arnold decides to find enough boats and canoes to escape to the safety of American-held Ft. Ticonderoga on Lake Champlain…the fortress he helped capture the previous year. (View Highlight)

In sum: Hunger, naps and horniness cause the entirety of the world GDP

Best Tweets on Staying Up After 3am

Nothing good happens after 3am.