The Neutral Roach

Books and Authors Mentioned

• The Passion According to G.H. by Clarice Lispector, Benjamin Moser, and Idra Novey - Search Google
• The Poisonwood Bible by Barbara Kingsolver - Search Google

I had entered the Sabbath orgy. Now I know what happens in the dark of the mountains on the nights of orgies. I know! I know with horror: things enjoy themselves.

--The Passion According to G.H. - Clarice Lispector, Benjamin Moser, and Idra Novey

I don’t want the other species! I just want people.

--The Passion According to G.H. - Clarice Lispector, Benjamin Moser, and Idra Novey

I interrupted an organized thing, mother, and that is worse than killing, that made me enter through a breach that showed me, worse than death, that showed me the thick and neutral life turning yellow.

--The Passion According to G.H. - Clarice Lispector, Benjamin Moser, and Idra Novey

The hell was good for me, I was enjoying that white blood that I had spilled. The roach is real, mother. It is no longer an idea of a roach. — Mother, all I did was want to kill, but just look at what I broke: I broke a casing! Killing is also forbidden because it breaks the hard casing, and leaves one with the sticky life.

--The Passion According to G.H. - Clarice Lispector, Benjamin Moser, and Idra Novey

But there it is, the neutral roach, without a name for pain or for love. Its only differentiation in life is that it has to be either male or female. I had only thought of it as female, since things crushed at the waist are female.

--The Passion According to G.H. - Clarice Lispector, Benjamin Moser, and Idra Novey

I’d taken the phone off the hook, but somebody could maybe ring the doorbell, and I’d be free! The blouse! that I’d bought, they’d said they’d deliver it, and then they’d ring the bell! No, they wouldn’t. I’d have to keep recognizing.

--The Passion According to G.H. - Clarice Lispector, Benjamin Moser, and Idra Novey

I recalled myself roaming the streets knowing I’d have the abortion, doctor, I who about children only knew and only would know that I was going to have an abortion. But at least I was getting to know pregnancy.

--The Passion According to G.H. - Clarice Lispector, Benjamin Moser, and Idra Novey

In truth I had fought all my life against the profound desire to let myself be touched — and I had fought because I couldn’t allow myself the death of what I called my goodness; the death of human goodness. But now I no longer wanted to fight it. There had to be a goodness so other that it wouldn’t resemble goodness.

--The Passion According to G.H. - Clarice Lispector, Benjamin Moser, and Idra Novey

With disgust, with despair, with courage, I was giving in. It was too late, and now I wanted.

--The Passion According to G.H. - Clarice Lispector, Benjamin Moser, and Idra Novey

If it weren’t imprisoned and were larger than I, with neutral busy pleasure it would kill me. Just as the violent neutral of its life was allowing me, because I was not imprisoned and was larger, to kill it. That was the kind of tranquil neutral ferocity of the desert where we were.

--The Passion According to G.H. - Clarice Lispector, Benjamin Moser, and Idra Novey

I ran my hand over my forehead: with relief I was noticing that I had finally begun to sweat. Shortly before there was just that hot dryness scorching us both. Now I was beginning to moisten myself.

--The Passion According to G.H. - Clarice Lispector, Benjamin Moser, and Idra Novey

Once again the white part of the roach spurted out maybe less than a millimeter.

--The Passion According to G.H. - Clarice Lispector, Benjamin Moser, and Idra Novey

Then, once again, another thick millimeter of white matter spurted out.

--The Passion According to G.H. - Clarice Lispector, Benjamin Moser, and Idra Novey

Since whoever eats of the unclean knowing that it is unclean — will also know that the unclean is not unclean. Is that it? “And everything that crawls and has wings shall be impure, and not be eaten.” I opened my mouth astonished: it was to ask for a help. Why? why didn’t I want to become as unclean as the roach?

--The Passion According to G.H. - Clarice Lispector, Benjamin Moser, and Idra Novey

Mama Mwanza almost got burnt plumb to death when idt happened but then she got better. Mama says that was the poor woman’s bad luck, because now she has got to go right on tending after her husband and her seven or eight children. They don’t care one bit about her not having any legs to speak of. To them she’s just their mama and where’s dinner?

--The Poisonwood Bible - Barbara Kingsolver

He has a big old round belly with his belly button sticking out like a black marble. I can tell it’s him because of the shirt and underpants, not because of the belly button. They all have those. I thought they were all fat, but Father said no. They’re hungry as can be, and don’t get their vitamins. And still God makes them look fat. I reckon that’s what they get for being the Tribes of Ham.

--The Poisonwood Bible - Barbara Kingsolver

She has shoes too. They used to be white but now they’re dirt-color. Anything that ever was white is not white here. That is not a color you see. Even a white flower opening up on a bush just looks doomed for this world.

--The Poisonwood Bible - Barbara Kingsolver

IF SOMEBODY WAS HUNGRY, why would they have a big fat belly? I don’t know.

--The Poisonwood Bible - Barbara Kingsolver